vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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