She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
