does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
