Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize