Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
