that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize