Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
