So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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