It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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