Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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