Best friends brother. Beat that.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
