Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
