hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize