Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize