i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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