I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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