Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
