Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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