sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
