I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
