My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the day after is always just damage control
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
