In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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