Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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