Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
