Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
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I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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