so explain again why im purple
no
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
