She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
