Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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