You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
