once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
