saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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