His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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