Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
