well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
