Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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