I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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