My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
