so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
