i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
