just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize