he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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