wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
