If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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