she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
