Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
