you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
