Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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