oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
