Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
