i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
