Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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