i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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