party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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