rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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