The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
