I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
