OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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