Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
