we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize