i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
