I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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