yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
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I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to cum in my sink.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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