You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
