I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
