True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
