Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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